Saturday, July 31

An End to a New Begining 

It has been one full year since I left the Monastry.

The past year was filled with ups and downs, been in and out of depression and almost fell into another recently. But all this is behind me now and felt glad that I am able to walk my path of life with new confidence. Although I am still slowly fitting back into "main stream" society, I am sure that I will grow stronger with each new day.

Many people had walked into my life in the past year. A few stayed on earning a special place in my heart, some choose to disappear overnite while I let go of those that were lost when I dropped my handphone. Life is full of ups and downs, hellos and good byes. And from a Buddhist point of view, it is good way to practise detachment. And only through detachment that we are able to untangle ourselves from the cycle of re-birth.

One very special friend to thank who stood by me since the day we knew each other. Through thick and thin, you have endured with me. Laughed with me at all the fun and happy moments, took all my nonsense without bidding an eyelid, cried through my depression, worried about my well being, helped me in a thousand and one ways. Without her, I would have never make it this far. I owe her too much.

My gay friends has been a constant support in my down days but as pointed out by a big bird - gay people are generally plastic, good only for hanging out with and relationships between people changes at lightning speed. And if you are not 'glam' enough to go hip hop clubbing together; then sorry man, you don't fit into our clique. So, I take it that I am juz not 'gay' enough - other than sexually active with guys - to be 'in the scene'.

Have got to know a few new friends since some old friends who claims to be on brotherly terms choose to ignore me recently - I am still searching for the reasons and those who know, please tell me. Although I am having great fun with my new acqiuantances, but I am constantly reminding myself not to put too much emotions into it as I don't want to be hurt again.

Just for those who are still interested in my life, I started a new job with a mesirable pay and the contract is only 6 months; but doing something that I enjoy. So will just take things as they come and see where will this job lead me to.

Since this blog has been in effect for a year and its really getting too large, its high time to start a new one, espcially so since I am entering into a new stage of my life.

Every Begining leads to an Ending.

Every Ending is a new Begining.


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andi at 07:47