Tuesday, April 6

The Loner in Me 

I am basically a Loner, not that I am lonely or without friends but I seems to prefer doing things alone.

My closer friends has came to accept the fact that I seldom confirm my attendance for any gatherings or functions, much less expect me to help out in any preparations. But if I give my word that I will be going, then I will gladly fetch people, buy things and run errands - especially buying birthday cakes - if I can use my dad's car. If I can't use the car, forget it.

I tend to be rather extreme in a social group, either ultra quiet or very high morale and jumping about. But anyway, neither will my presence add any much colour to a gathering nor would it be any less fun should I not attend. I tend to avoid occasions with big groups as I prefer quality time spent with a small clique of friends.

Never expect me to attend wedding dinners unless its someone real close as I simply hate sitting with nine strangers waiting forever for the next dish with bored servers looking at watches wishing that the dinner would not go on forever while the newly weds are being ridiculed on stage. If you value my friendship, invite me to the ROM ceremony where I can congratulate you whole heartedly or just have a simple meal together with your better half where you can really introduce me to your life partner.

My mood swings very fast and I can be laughing and jovious one minute but silent and redrawn the next. Don't worry if that happens, it just means that I am pondering or sorting out some issues in my mind. The only time to panic should this happens is when I am behind the wheels as I will tend to lose the sense of directions and start missing turns and unsure of which route to take. Most of my friends who ever took the car I am driving would have experience it.

Its this trait in my character that makes me quite hesitant to accept people into my little world yet on the other hand, I am always thinking that my social circle is not wide enough. But I have also long learnt that I do not have to change myself to accommodate anyone nor would I expect anyone to do the same.

The silence of solitude is blissful but no man is an island.

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andi at 18:27